Monday, May 12, 2008

Prefect Parents

Being a parent nowadays is an easy task. We only make more difficult for ourselves if we decide to spend more quality time with them. If we leave our kids alone, it's actually pretty easy to bring up kids. As long as we feed them, cloth them, shelter them, provide means for them to get an education anyway but at home, we can go about doing almost all the things we wanted to do. So, nowadays, maids and tuition teachers are necessities for those who can afford them. At home, we have maids as surrogate parents while in school or after school care, we have teachers or tuition teachers as the devils with the cane. The small amount of time we have available with our kids, we take them shopping or we watch TV. You know, the things we like to do and if we like it, they will also like it. If on rare occasion, we take them for a hike or a swim, we will feel very proud of ourselves because we are such good parents.

If we spend time with our kids, words like no, cannot, don't want and all other similar negative statements are used like punctuations in our communication with our children. Why? Because they need discipline. They need to listen to we the-almighty-ones. We, the parents know better. They need to worry about the exams result. They need to know that it is their responsibilities to get good result and bad result entails punishments. They need to understand what's right and wrong. They need to know the world outside is a dangerous one and they'd better sit tight at home or else they will disappear in the sea of wolves outside.

It is our right to ask them to come for a kiss and hug when we feel like we need one. We can also shoo them away when we are not in the mood and we think that they are such pests. It doesn't matter if they are confused as to the right timing to get love and attention from us. When we say it's the time, that is the time. When we shout go to sleep, it doesn't matter how young is our kids. Sleep means sleep. They should obey even if they are under one year old.

Here I am, rumbling about how easy to be a parent. A lot of time we cannot help to be self-centred simply because we are created to only truly know our own feelings. What others feel is just a guess or conclusion derived by us based on our own or others experiences. So what I truly feel about good parenting is to know when to pick and when to let go. It's never an easy task. No "one applied to all" solution. Some parents proudly announce that they always ask their kids to clean their own mess. Some avoid the conversation. Some boasts that they never make a fuss when their kids fall down. Some just listen. Some said they never allow their kids to go out alone without them. Some said children should be given freedom to choose their friends.

So, the conclusion is when to pick and when to let go requires good judgments. How to we gain good judgments? Hell, I don't know.

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